The MS Word Paperclip-Helper: Pure Evil?

August 24, 2008 § 2 Comments

Just finished: The Raw Shark Texts.

Reading next: Nosferatu in Love, by Jim Shepard.

Part three’s probably my favorite section of the book. It’s rad. We enter un-space through a hole in the back of a bookshelf in a closed bookstore (the entrance is behind the “H”s in the literature section, presumably including this book by Mr. Hall, a nice Nabokovian touch), and the journey ends at a giant labyrinth made of tunnels and rooms made entirely of paper and books inside which it “smelled like the pages of a second-hand Charles Dickens novel.” The tunnel forms the letters “ThERa.” (It’s the first letters of the book; there are also tunnels called Milos and Ios. All three are names of Greek islands, too, some Googling reveals.)

This whole complex is behind the walls of a “huge library,” presumably of a university (maybe Oxford or Cambridge?). Cool images, these: the wild, uncontrolled mass of words, fragments of printed matter and jotted notes and forgotten books, like the protective and protected subconscious of the published world.

But the most interesting and surprising section of part three is “The Story of Mycroft Ward.” Now, whatever Hall himself might say about this (and from what I’ve seen online, he’s coy about it, which seems to me a fairly absurd and, again, self-consciously Nabokovian thing to do β€” “What, me know anything about what my text is doing?”), this is obviously a continuation of the word-play initiated in the book’s title (Rorschach tests=Raw Shark Texts). Mycroft Ward is, in part, a knock on Microsoft (Mycroft Ward=Microsoft Word). It’s also a kick-ass story.

The story reminded me of Yates’s The Art of Memory. I love these gropings, both real and imagined, after the concept of computation, the possibilities of external and internal memory. Hall brilliantly ties his art of memory (“The Arrangement”) to the desires for immortality and “self-preservation,” its true root, and updates Yates by pushing his narrative into the computer age. It’s the scale of things that has made this age scary; the ease with which millions β€” billions? β€” of people have been led, and have acquiesced, to using the same “programs” for recording their thoughts, for searching for information, for saving their findings, for running their worlds.

All of which leads me to the question: is that paperclip with googly-eyes that is supposed to “help” you in Word an agent of Mycroft Ward? If you actually click on this thing (does anyone ever actually need this thing’s help, or do anything but disable it as quickly as possible?), do you wake up minutes later, confused and missing parts of your brain? Is the googly-eyed paperclip, in fact, pure evil?

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§ 2 Responses to The MS Word Paperclip-Helper: Pure Evil?

  • Paticus says:

    I can assure you, that little googly eyed paper clip is NOT evil. It is a benevolent helper, simply put here to make our lives easier. Believe me, I know evil(I’m a Dallas Cowboys fan, fer gosh sakes) and the paper clip is not evil.
    Sure, some of the things it may ask you to do might make you a little bit uncomfortable at first, but once you learn to accept what the clip says, and NOT QUESTION him, it all falls into place. and you get used to the lost time, and the physical discomfort that accompanies the lost time.
    it all falls into place.
    it all falls into place.
    say it with me…It all falls into place
    it all falls into place…

  • THE PAPERCLIP DELETED MY 6.5 K BILLION PAGES OF GREAT SCIENCE ! I HAD THE CURE to CAnceR, bUt The PapeRCLiP DeleTeD It! baRrACk ObaMA wAs eLEcteD prEsidEnt BeCAuse OF hIM!

    The gooD PapeRCliP loL!

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